BCL v14 is finally here, after many postponements and breaches of the National Disaster Act. Jail-worthy activities aside, let’s get into this, shall we?
BCL (Boys Christmas Lunch)
The Spirit
BCL is a sacred weekend that happens once a year, where the best group of friends any poes can ask for, get together to eat ribs, give presents, get hammered, and break glass tables with their faces, all in the name of Christmas, friendship and brotherhood.
The History
13 years ago, 6 best friends decided to have a Christmas lunch to celebrate the end of a long year. It was decided that it would be a civilised event; as they were sick of every weekend just being a debaucherous write-off (cue the irony). So, they set a table (with a tablecloth), bought Christmas crackers and braaied some ribs. Little did they know that they created a tradition that would continue every year since.
The Purpose
Many people look at BCL as a big piss-up (which it is) but they are not seeing what it really stands for. It is only natural that as we grow older, we grow further apart. So the true purpose of BCL (other than irreversible liver damage) is to bring all the boys together for 1 weekend a year, where we can laugh, share stories, and be reminded why we were friends in the first place.
It is important that we are all reminded of the true purpose of BCL and remember that it is a privilege to be involved.
Ok, boring stuff out of the way – here’s what you need to know:
DEPARTURE
We are leaving from Planet Fitness, Wanderers at 10 AM sharp. Please be there NO LATER THAN 9:30 AM so that we have time to pack. I shouldn’t need to tell you what will happen if you are late.
You can leave your car in the parking lot, as it has 24-hour security. Or you can get your mommy to drop you off. Poes.
THE BUS
It’s a 22 Seater bus, so there is plenty of room for everyone, their bags, cooler boxes, and Frank’s 400 hardboiled eggs.
Philani is our driver and he has told me that there will be NO smoking on the bus. However, drinking and vomiting is allowed 🤷
We will not stop for lunch on the way to Clarens. We will get a Mcd’s or Burger King when we leave at 10 AM to tide you over. It might be a good idea to get a Whopper in your belly before you get whoppered by Hansa.
ACCOMMODATION
We are staying at Collett house in Clarens town. It seems like a nice place – PLEASE can we keep it like that.
I am not sure what the room situation is like, we will sort that out when we get there. But as per usual, we use our BCL rank to determine who gets to pick their rooms in order:
| Poes | BCLs Attended |
| Stof | 13 |
| Cuntin | 13 |
| Razza | 12 |
| Bravo | 10 |
| Mainer | 8 |
| Dog Box | 8 |
| Savage | 7 |
| Porn | 7 |
| Wozowski | 7 |
| Tank | 3 |
| Baba Yaga | 3 |
| Ponzi | 2 |
| Spud | 1 |
| Deelon | 0 |
NOOBS
The noob this year will be Deelon, because this will be his first time attending a BCL.
As a newbie you have certain responsibilities through the weekend:
- Assisting with all cooking duties
- Permanent cleaning throughout the weekend
- Refilling people’s drinks (if you are caught only refilling your drink, a shot of cane will be added to your newly refilled drink)
- Any heavy lifting (watch out for glass tables)
- Any erroneous tasks Elders ask you to do
FOOD
| Breakfast | Lunch | Dinner | |
| Fri | – | On bus | Easy braai |
| Sat | 1b49or9b1 | Pub Crawl | |
| Sun | Post House | On bus | – |
If you want to get stuff for yourself, like lame vegetarian burgers, there is a grocery store in Clarens. Also, we are a 15 minute walk from town (or a 2 minute drive if Philani takes us) to get whatever we need.
ALCOHOL
We have 6 cases of beer for the bus trip down. We will assess the damage when we get to Clarens, and then we will go to the bottle store to stock up for fines and the rest of the weekend.
All alcohol will be catered for – but if you want to bring/buy something specific for yourself, please feel free.
GIFTS
The gift limit is R250 this year, and gifts will be handed out on Saturday morning at 9am.
FINES
The main Fines will be held on Friday evening around 6pm. There will be a secondary Fines held on Saturday evening to end off a splendid weekend. If you have fines to add, please do so here.
The fines rules can be found here.
Dont forget to submit your FANS here.
Don’t forget your unique hat – there will be NO face masks allowed, we want to see the pain in your eyes when we give you a fine.
COVID Precautions
We aren’t requiring COVID tests before we go. However, we will most likely have to adhere to public transport COVID protocols and wear masks on the bus. But Philani will let us know tomorrow.
BCL Do’s & Dont’s
And now for the most useless part of the email:
Do:
- Treat the house (and it’s contents) as if it was your own
- Bring a hat for fines (no masks allowed)
- Bring your BCL mug
- Bring hubbly stuff (even if you don’t bring a hubbly)
- Bring a present
- Have 1 before 9 or 9 before 1
- JudgeGeoffJudgeGeoffJudgeGeoff
- Crowd Surfing in the Jacuzzi
- Get low, low, low, low
Don’t:
- Don’t break a glass table with your head, even if you are doing the boys a favour and moving a table to make space for a stripper
- Don’t force your drunkest friend to drive you to the hospital after you just broke a glass table with your head
- Don’t place large cooler boxes full of ice on the counter
- Don’t apply sunscreen and immediately jump in the pool or jacuzzi, let that shit absorb
- Don’t break Stof’s phone and hide the evidence
- Don’t steal pocket pussys
- Don’t use bathmats to clean up vomit
- Don’t piss on your mates when they are sleeping
- Don’t play hide the poo
- Don’t overthrow the elders during a fines
- Don’t throw rib bones
- Don’t smoke the devil’s lettuce and make Dean angry
That is all from me! You have 18 hours to say goodbye to your loved ones.
~ Stof
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